Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Grinds My Gears

Urban Dictionary Word of the day:
Frottage-To induce sexual pleasure by applying one's body to another...
That may be a little inappropriate for most but hey, this is the world that we live in now and I will explain why I chose this word.

You know what grinds my gears? (A Peter Griffin of Family Guy once said...) Trojan commercials. I mean really? If you're going to actually have the literal balls to make and distribute commercials to networks on T.V. , at least don't make them sooo unbearably corny. Like there are just too painful to watch or to take seriously. They are just terrible. You've seen them right? When I saw the first one, I was shocked they even made a campaign for it at all. Why was the husband to be so excited that she got like 4 vibrators? I don't mean that in a "Really, you don't know why?" kinda way. Its just that he was SUPER excited. Now there is this new one. For the amazing new Twister. Check it out the new Ridiculously Corny Vibrator Commercial if you haven't already seen it.
While the world is at it, why don't we make more corny commercials? Maybe about adult diapers or more descriptive commercials about the female menstrual cycle. Or what happens when you used protection (maybe it was actually a Trojan) but you may be pregnant anyway. Or maybe we could market to the elderly about fun ways to not make having a catheter seem so bad.(Maybe add some cool stickers to the bag or slap on some glitter.) There are somethings just do no need commercials because its either too inappropriate or a too delicate type of information to slap on T.V.
Thus, God invented pamphlets. And annoying internet ads.
Even if there were something awkward someone wanted to market, there are better ways of approaching it. I look at commercials with a pretty large interest and I can sort of imagine how I would have done it given the chance. I cannot wait to start taking my classes in advertising. Someday I will change the face of advertising!! (Play heroic music here.) Or something.Maybe I can get rid of those made-for-T.V. product commercials. Why does something always have to be $19.95, $29.95 or $39.95 and presented with the same old female voice over for it to be considered something worth selling when its really a piece of junk? Topsy Turvy Tomato Grower thing? What's wrong with the traditional way? Or the shoe organizer you slide under your bed for optimum space efficiency? (I have one, it sucks.)
Why can't we have less junk commercials? They grind my gears. :/


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